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I ain't that good. Well, hello, Mister Fancypants. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, The Book of the Dead. Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! It's a trick. Get an axe. Shop smart: shop S-Mart! The book awoke something dark in the woods. Operation unburn Michael Westen is officially off. You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi. Retails for about $109.95. But that didn't stop it, so it came back. Big time. Okay.

That's it! Next time you unleash an ancient demon, call that Buffy chick. Well, that's why God made flashbang grenades. Well, hello Mr. Plot Point! You're a goody little two-shoes! Klaatu... Klaatu Barada NNNNNNecktie. See this? This... is my boomstick! It took Linda, and then it came for me. It wasn't always like this. You can find this in the sporting goods department. He can't talk if he can't breathe. It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. I mean, you see the section here where the C.I.A. says Ahmed is untouchable? I think that means, you know, no touching. That's right, this.